I don’t even just want to scream right now. There is no word for it. Is it Connecticut? The sensory? The culture I loathe but am sufficiently ignoring? I have no idea, however, I am falling away from some values in my patented cyclic elm fashion. Any romantic relationship, for me has fallen away and I don’t know my worth in another, if ever. Life, in adding to these choppy sentences (sorry), is an introversion and the specialty school for this is the east coast, the teachers, the lonely bulldog inhabitants.

Saw a particle accelerator this morning. My young, brilliant, yale-employed friend gave me the ins and outs of it, included with that is the observation of a study where a patient was yelled at by a psychiatrist after being injected with radiation and being uberconfined to a head brace and a inside positron emission tomography set-up. Bonus. I heard the psychiatrist was extra nasty to this one.

I’m having pains in my chest. Anxiety, I believe. This is compounded with general malaise and not caring fully for my health and just taking in too much…looking forward to moving away from a situation that will have me talking, and thoroughly changed for years. Decompression, hopefully, will be possible. Spring break officially has started. I, however, have a mental list of stuff to do before the mom comes on Monday. The midterm to break my head and soul is the 23rd. get over the shit, to do the deed…yes, this will is great. I travel the golden mean to find a threshold and pounce on it. Once more it shall be, and to share with friends is more than I thought possible at this junct.

On a positive note: in a few hours I will check out a job in Hartford to work every other weekend starting in a month or so. It would entail assisting in autopsies. I think it has perks. Got nominated for another scholarship, we’ll see. Oh, and found some sharpie markers that are the color of fixed tissue…very pleasing to the eye and conceptual foundation of sharing myself and views.